Unwinding

I really have been stressed out lately. Want to know why?

1. I'm being scheduled for fewer hours at TreeTop - and, with me being a broke college student, this is a serious problem. I'm not going to be able to work very much during the school year, so I need to make up for that now. And how can I do that if I'm not being scheduled?
2. School. My sophomore year is fast approaching, and I'm seriously not ready. I'm not ready at all. I'm absolutely freaking terrified, to tell you the truth.
3. My room mate - and how we're going to get along. She's a freshman this year, and neither of us have met the other. We've talked two times on the phone, and we've been texting pictures to each other and whatnot (mostly, "Does this match?" and "What else do I need to get?"), but that's no substitute for actually meeting and living with her.
4. I've reopened my review site on Neopets - and it seems like I've been getting non-stop requests! I'm not complaining - I love reviewing, but sometimes I get so into it that I forget to sleep. It's not uncommon for me to go to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning.
5. Charlie's still stressing me out. I can't get it through my head that he's somehow stopped loving me - not with the things he used to tell me still running around my head. It's not fair. And it may drive me over the edge one day.
6. I haven't been sleeping much. A lot of that's my own fault, because I force myself to stay up as late as possible so I'm absolutely past the point of exhaustion. That's the only way that I don't dream. And I don't like to dream any more. All I ever dream about is Charlie.

So, how do I deal with all this stress?

I hope you're ready for this - I'm about to start another list. And this one may get a bit rambly. (Oh, gosh; I hope it doesn't. I've already rambled enough, honestly.)

Let's talk about the ways that I've been trying to relax:

1. Animal Crossing: New Leaf. It's awesome, and it's like living my own little, happy life. (My life at the moment is not so happy. Some days I want to just scream and throw everything everywhere, but that would be inappropriate and I would end up in a mental ward. Honest.) I may be a bit too obsessed with it, but I don't care. It makes me happy, and being happy is a rare thing nowadays.
2. Music. I've started listening to music again. I've been really avoiding it for the past few months, because everything on my iPod reminded me of Charlie. Last month, I decided it was time for me to get some new music. I downloaded Pandora (awesome app, by the way; it's even got its own website!) and set up some radio stations. (By the way; Celtic Music Station? BAD IDEA, YO. Memories...) I also started browsing the Free Albums section on Amazon, and I've found some amazing things on there. The Saddle Creek Summer 2012 Sampler is probably the best thing ever.
3. Foot soakings. I bought myself a tub of bath salts the other day, after experiencing my first bath in nearly six years. (I had bought a little packet of bath salts from Earthbound a few weeks prior, and had just then gotten around to using them.) Man, it was like heaven. So I decided I needed more. On my next trip to Publix with my mother, I found a tub of bath salts that had a coupon attached. Of course, I bought it immediately. (If it hadn't had the coupon, I would've probably bought this brown sugar body scrub. Heck, I still might go back and get that body scrub! I've got a job - I can totes buy that!) But anyways... I've been standing on my feet a lot lately in TreeTop, so I've been using my bath salts to soak my feet in. And man, is it like heaven. Although I'm sad that the water warmth doesn't last as long as I wish it would. Sad face.
4. Reading. I've actually gotten to sit down and read this month, and it's been absolutely fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. I've missed reading so, so much.
5. Writing. I'm still working on my novel (the sequel's on hold, for now, although I may have had an idea for the ending... Woo!), and it's going rather well. Of course, I'm writing most of it on receipt paper, because I'm usually in café when I get time to write...But who cares? I honestly can't wait to get this thing finished, because then I get to hand it over to my friend Kellie so she can edit it. I hope she likes it. (Y'all will buy a copy, right?)
6. Shopping. Okay, so this is a bad one. I'm stressing myself out at TreeTop because I don't have enough hours, and then I go shopping? But please, let me explain. Sometimes shopping isn't all that bad. Sometimes shopping is a great way to release your emotions. (And hey...that sexy piece of lingerie I got at Victoria's Secret? It was absolutely free. I may not have a chance to use it again for a long, long time...but whatevs. Just wearing it, even though nobody can see it, makes me feel prettier. I can't explain it. But who cares?)

I wrote this while I was soaking my feet again (I mean, it was a long, rough day at café, let me tell you, even though I didn't close), and now the water's getting cold and it's not pleasant. Sigh. I wish the water would stay warmer for a lot longer. It would make everything so much better.

Anyways.

How do y'all unwind at the end of a long day? How do you de-stress yourself? Do you have any tips for me? What's stressing you out at the moment? (Want to talk? I'm here.)

Goodbye

Mrs. Carolyn died at 9:23 this morning.

She never regained consciousness.

It's one of the most heartbreaking things I think I've experienced. It's even worse for my parents. She was one of their good friends. She was in the same motorcycle gang my father's in.

She was fine just three weeks ago at the Fourth of July party. I feel kinda guilty because I sort of ignored her. And now I feel awful at how I treated her at last year's party - I got mad because she insisted, jokingly, on sitting between me and Charlie. And now she's gone.

I don't know if I'll be able to go to the funeral, either due to work or because I genuinely don't believe I could handle it.

So if I'm a little more depressed than usual, you know why.

Thanks for all the prayers and well-wishes. She was an amazing lady.

She was simply fantastic.

It's the End

THIS WAS WRITTEN ON WEDNESDAY, JULY 24, 2013.

Mrs. Carolyn's not going to make it.

Today's her 66th birthday. It's her daughter's 33rd.

When my dad went to go see her today, the doctor said, "We're just praying she makes it through the night, so she doesn't die on her birthday, or her daughter's."

They still don't know what happened. The only thing they can think of is that they gave her some sort of mix of painkillers that didn't sit too well with her.

(Also: the reason she wasn't hooked up to any monitors? If the surgery goes smoothly, and everything seems fine, no monitors are required. Since Mrs. Carolyn's surgery went absolutely perfectly, the doctors didn't think she needed monitors. And then came the painkiller cocktail.)

Mrs. Carolyn's been off of life support for 48 hours, and they're no longer feeding her intravenously. She's held on for this long. But the doctors are sure she's not going to make it.

It's just so hard. She was lively and wonderful on July 4th. And then this whole mess happened.

It's not fair. It's just not fair.

Thank you, everyone for your thoughts and prayers during this time. You barely know me, I don't know you, and you have no idea who Mrs. Carolyn is. But thank you, so much.

Edit, 26 July: Mrs. Carolyn's still holding on. She's been off life support since Monday, but there's been no change in her condition. Her husband's already made all the funeral arrangements. It's hard, because she's not dead yet. This isn't going to be a fun week.

Packing for College: Introduction & Bedding

With just under a month left until I move back to college, I thought I'd share with you some of my tips for packing for college. 

My room had its own bathroom, but I had many friends who had to share a communal bathroom. Therefore, I'll be able to give you tips on what to do with both types of rooms.

What makes me qualified to tell you what you should do? Well, I'm a college student first of all, and I survived my first year. I was lucky to live within weekend-going-home distance of my family, so I was able to take stuff home and bring stuff back that I forgot. This is why I'm writing - so that if you're moving hundreds of miles away to college, you won't forget something extremely important!

This is just going to be a short "mini-series" dealing with what you should pack for different parts of your room. I'm going to be very detailed, and I'll probably have some pictures throughout, as well.

Disclaimer: I don't know the specific rules of your dorm halls, but I'm going to bet that they're probably very similar to mine (no candles, no extension cords, etc.), so feel free to alter my recommendations if you need to! Don't forget to talk to me in the comments!

Now, on to the main event:

Bedding

First of all, where's your college located? Is it in the South? In the North? Will you have easy access to a store where you can buy extra bedding if need be? (The winter gets extremely cold in the South, and the dorm halls aren't well-heated, as I found out.)

So, what should be the essentials for your bedding?

1. You're going to want a nice bedspread/quilt/comforter. 

I was able to get mine from Wal-Mart, and it's served me very well. It wasn't too hot in the summer, and it wasn't too cold in the winter.

I've rolled it into a ball here, because it's in storage for the summer. It opens up to a nice twin-sized comforter, though. It's a pretty aqua-teal color, with a design on one side. It's also very easy to clean, which is quite nice.

2. You're going to want some foam mattress pads.

I can't tell you how much of a lifesaver these were. The beds that we were given were covered with plastic (I guess to reduce costs if someone spilled some sort of bodily fluids on them), and they were very thin.

No matter! I simply pulled out my mattress pad and placed it on top of the bed. Then I put my mattress cover over that, and then I put on my sheets and bedspread and pillows.

These are my mattress pads. (I gave one to my room mate, but she didn't want to keep hers, so I took it back home with me.) They have ridges on the top, and the bottom is smooth. They look like they'd be weird to sleep on, but they're actually really comfy! And it makes the mattress a lot softer. You can get them at Wal-Mart, or bedding specialty stores.

3. You're going to want at least two sets of sheets.

Why two, you ask? Well, when you have to wash one set, you have another set all ready to put on the bed! I found it harder to wash my sheets when I knew I'd have to wait for them to get dry before putting them back on my bed. Once I had an extra set of sheets, I was ready for anything!

MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT SIZE TWIN BED YOU HAVE. Some colleges have extra-long twin beds, while others have standard. My college had standard beds, so buying extra-long sheets would've been a waste of money. (My sheets were still a little big on my bed, actually.)

I bought my sheets from Target. They're jersey-knit (sort of like t-shirt material), and they're extremely soft.

4. You're going to want extra pillows.

Personally, I sleep with two pillows already. (I put the decorative cover from my bedspread over one of them, and that's the bottom pillow. The other one has my pillow case on it.) However, I really enjoyed having a few extra pillows on my bed, because it kept me from hitting the wall at night (the bed was actually narrower than my twin bed at home!). It was also a cute decorative thing whenever I made up my bed.

The pillows were also great just for sitting up against. (I sometimes put one on my desk chair so it wouldn't be so hard.)

5. Do you want to bring your stuffed animals from home?

I sleep with a lot of stuffed animals. However, I only brought one with me to college: my seal. I wouldn't have been able to sleep otherwise. A lot of people brought their stuffed animals, and my room mate never said anything to me about it. 

Bring them if you want.

***

That's just the basics of bedding. If you want to bring things like dust ruffles for your bed (my roomie just bought a cheap lace curtain and tucked it under her mattress to hide her storage space) or some kind of clip-on reading light, be my guest!

If you've got something else to add to this list, tell me in the comments!
What did you find that worked?
What didn't work?
Have I missed anything in this list?

Thank you!

"Apologize. Now."

I like running Clubhouse.

Sure, it's boring. You're sitting on this stool (well, it's kinda like a flat seat-thing...) for hours on end, getting up only to let kids in the gate and stamp their hands. Occasionally, you may have to climb up into the playhouse to rescue some kid who's scared of the tilting tunnel or the EXTREMELY DARK slide. I keep a flashlight in my purse for this purpose. (I do it gladly, because I used to be the kid that was scared of things; plus, I like going down the slide.)

But on the other hand, if you bring a book or a sketchpad or something to do, time goes by rather quickly. I don't read while there are kids in my gate, but otherwise, I will. I've finished books there before, and it's always a pleasant time.

During downtimes, if a kid wants me to go up with them, I'll do it. I went up with this one curly-haired four-year-old maybe six or seven times last Saturday, because not only was he scared of the tunnel and the slide, but he also wanted someone to play with.

So, last Saturday, I was manning Clubhouse. There are one or two kids in the Clubhouse, and a set of grandparents are sitting outside the gate on the same stool-seat things, watching their grandkids play. 

Out of nowhere, this group of little boys comes tearing up to the gate. One of them swings wide and pretty much trips over the grandfather (the grandfather was sitting upright, legs crossed. There's no way the kid could've tripped unless he ran into the man, which he did). He then marches up to the gate and demands to be let in.

Something inside of me snaps.

I swipe their cards, stamp their hands, and then I put my foot on the inside of the gate (so they can't open it with their grubby little kid-hands), and I glare at the one little kid who fell over the old man. 

"Apologize."

He throws a barked, "Sorry," over his shoulder, and proceeds to attempt to walk in the gate again. I'm not having any of it.

"Apologize to the gentleman you just so brutishly ran over, or I'm not letting you in."

The boys' mothers have caught up by this time, and one of them notices that I'm picking on her son.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm not going to let him in unless he apologizes for running into the gentleman sitting behind him."

I'm half-expecting the mother to go off on a tangent and bite my head off. Hey, I was raised to respect my elders, and I hate seeing little kids treat older people like trash.

Much to my surprise, the mother turns on her son, gives him this look of evil and terror, and says, "Apologize!"

So the little boy slinks over to the man, squeaks out an, "I'm sorry I ran into you," and then flees back to the gate. I let him in with no trouble, the mother nods and leaves with her posse, and the old man smiles at me.

All in all, I think I taught that kid some respect. Or I put fear and terror into him. It's sort of hard to distinguish the two sometimes.

And Now, the Going Gets Tough

You all remember Mrs. Carolyn, right? Good friend of my parents, currently deep in a coma at Brookwood Hospital?

Her family has come to a very tough decision. They're praying it's the right thing.

If you recall, the second neurologist came by and told them that he saw no brain activity on the scans that he did. That by itself is enough to cause immense panic in some people. Mr. Randy, of course, took it hard. This is his wife we're talking about. He's not doing well at all. If she dies, he may be soon to follow.

Anyways, the Hammonds have decided to start weaning Mrs. Carolyn off of life support.

Maybe she'll wake up as it lessens. Maybe she'll recover. Maybe things will get better.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

It's all a stretch at the moment.

And of course, Mr. Randy is still blaming himself for all of this. "If I'd only noticed sooner," he repeats, over and over again like a mantra. (You see, Mrs. Carolyn wasn't hooked up to any monitors, because the recovery from this surgery should have been routine, with nothing life-threatening happening. So Mrs. Carolyn said, "I'm slipping away," but everyone thought she was just talking about going to sleep from the painkillers. When Mr. Randy looked back up, she was dead. Now she's in a coma.)

I explained all this to my boss yesterday, when he overheard someone asking if I'd had to attend a funeral this weekend (I told him I couldn't take a shift of his because of that possibility). He said, "He shouldn't be blaming himself. If a frog had wings, then he wouldn't hit himself in the ass when he hopped." (I still have NO idea what that's supposed to mean.) At least he's sympathetic, in case I do have to bail work for a funeral.

Please keep her in your prayers, thoughts, whatever. The next few days are going to be absolutely horrendous.

A Not-So-Typical Family Outing

So, yesterday was absolutely AMAZING. And do you know why?

I finally got to go shooting with my family.

I've never shot a gun before. I've been wanting to, ever since my daddy bought me a little .380 last October (for my solo trip to Kentucky, but it didn't work out due to the fact that concealed-carry permits in Shelby Co. are only available after age 19, usually 21).

So, yesterday was perfect weather, the whole family was home, and my dad decided to take us all out to his Hunting Club and we shot his guns.

Five pistols and a shotgun.

My little .380. (Not much of a kick, but the trigger's too hard to pull. I also don't have the strenght to cock it yet. It was...disappointing.)

The .38 special. (It has a small barrel, and has one heck of a kick. I fired one shot and I was done. It hurt, so very much.)

The .357. (I'm going to save up money and buy this gun from my dad. He probably wants around $1200 for it, because the manufacturer has stopped making this particular weapon. And it is sweet. I want it so badly! I also hit my first bulls-eye ever with this. The third gun I'd ever held, the second bullet from the gun, perfect bulls-eye. It was amazing.)

The 9 millimeter. (I felt like a secret agent with this one. I couldn't cock it, but I hit a perfect bulls-eye with it. I was ecstatic.)

And then my daddy's .410 bolt-action shotgun. (It's at least 39 years old, possibly older. It was a gift from his Pawpaw when he was ten years old. It's killed "many a snake, blackbird, and crow," apparently. He has no idea how many rounds he's put through it. I fired one shot, and I'm sure I have a serious bruise on my shoulder now. It hurt!)

 This is the little .357. It's an amazing gun. Perfect weight, very little kick. Awesome.

 The 9-mil. Don't I look like a secret agent?

 My little .380. Bigger kick than I was expecting, and a hard trigger.

 Sarah with the .357.

 Mom with the .357. (That's her favorite gun, too.)

Another shot of the .380.

Sarah with the 9-mil.

Mom with the .357.

Me with the 9-mil.

The .45. It's got the words "The Judge" emblazoned on the barrel. And what a Judge this thing is. It can shoot buckshot/birdshot and .45s. It's got a heck of a kick, but whatever you shoot with the "defender" ammo certainly won't be getting back up.

Sarah with the .38 special.

Sarah with the .380.

Sarah with the .38 special. She loved that one.

Don't you just love her face with the .45?

Mom one-handing the 9-mil.

Mom with the .38 special.

Sarah with the .380.

It was an absolutely amazing time.

Sarah shot a tree with the shotgun.

These are skills that will come in handy for me one day (although I hope I'll never, ever have to use them). It's always good to know how to load a gun, how to aim, how to fire, and how to clean it.

I also managed to shoot two perfect bulls-eyes, one with the .357 (EPIC GUN) and one with the 9-mil. I think I've been bitten by a very expensive bug...