For the next few months, I wallowed in a black hole of pain and misery. Yes, much of that I brought upon myself. I would wake up at night, screaming, and would sob and cry until I cried myself to sleep and my mother could go back to her room. (She would come and hold me and talk to me while I cried.)
After a while, I gave up. I never heard from him, and he blocked me on Facebook the moment he got computer access back. I realized that I could not let him win.
Still, I went through life in a daze. I worked myself to the brink of exhaustion, threw myself into so many activities at school, and tried my best to stop thinking. (Because if I started thinking, I would start crying.)
Flash-forward to Anime Club on Monday nights. After Pokémon X & Y came out, so many people in Anime Club brought their DSs in order to play. I met a few friends by battling, and one of these friends was named Matt.
Matt was dressed in a Superman snuggie, which you can see to the left of this paragraph. At first, I was unsure as to whether he was asking me out-out, or if this was just a buddy-date type thing. He seemed way too casual (although later, he told me he was freaking out and was actually nervous for the first time in a long time, because he actually cared that I might reject him!).
I was extremely hyper at this point in time (like, I was literally bouncing off the walls and grabbing the leftover candy at the end), and I said yes. I don't even know why I said yes at the time, but I figured, Hey, why don't I give this guy a chance? He seems nice.
Fast-forward to the next day, and we meet at Eclipse, this coffee house, for coffee. Well, I had a milkshake and he had an Italian cream soda, but it's still a coffee house. It was very nice. I had planned to skip out at 7:00, to go and watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but I was having so much fun just...talking to him that I decided to stay. We ended up walking around campus, and I stayed out until nearly 10:00 (or was it 11?).)
It was a very nice first date, to be honest. We were able to be open with each other.
He's an extremely geeky person, with a deep love of DC comics. His favorite character's either the Joker or Harley Quinn (which creeps me out a little bit). He's got the Green Lantern tattooed on his thigh. And he's so sweet. He's really sweet.
The difference between Matt and my ex is like day and night. Matt takes time to ask me what's wrong, he takes the time to make sure I feel good, and he's amazingly sweet. He's also absolutely insane, but we fit together. He doesn't care that I don't dress like a Barbie every day, and we're actually able to sit down and talk to each other.
It's also very nice to have a person THERE at all times. Someone to hold me if things go wrong. Someone I can comfort if he's having a bad day. (He has them a lot, because he doesn't have the best relationship with his parents.)
Life is beginning to look up for the first time in a long time. I'm smiling more these days, and I no longer feel like I'm worthless and not worthy of anyone.
Now, I now that this post has probably been a bit more information than you have ever wanted to know, but I figured that if I just threw in the word "Matt" into my upcoming posts, none of y'all would have any idea what I was talking about and you'd want the backstory to all this. So here you go; there's the backstory.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a stack of comics to get back to. (He's managed to convert me to a DC comics fan. He's succeeded. My favorite person is Harley Quinn. She's just so insane, and it's awesome. I actually dressed as Harley for his birthday party, and he dressed as Joker. It was really cool.) I'm still a Marvel movie fan, but I love DC comics.
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