Goals & Ambitions

What are you going to do when you grow up?

I've been asked that question for as long as I can remember.

I want to be a doctor.

I want to be a vet.

I want to be, I want to be, I want to be.

I actually did consider being a veterinarian once, but then I realized, I'd have to deal with the sick and dying animals, too. I'd have to tell little boys that their dog would have to be put down. I'd have to hold kittens in my hand and tell the tearful little girls that they were dying and that was nothing I could do for them. And I realized, I don't want to do that with my life.

I started writing stories when I was really young. I remember writing about the adventures of my cat, Ginger, when I was in first grade. (I still have a copy of that notebook around here somewhere, too.) In fourth grade, I expressed my dream of being an author some day. I have my teacher, Mr. Jason Knight, to thank for that. He really was awesome, and he told me, "Lauren, if you ever get a book published, I will certainly buy a copy!" (I'm going to track him down and mail him a copy if I ever when get a book published, that's for sure. He deserves it!)

From fourth grade on, I've worked hard at being a writer. I even attempted to start a novel in fifth grade. I still have the notebook around here, and I look back at it every now and then. It has good premise, but I have no idea how to make it work. It sounds so childish whenever I read it over. (But I dragged that notebook around with me everywhere during fifth, sixth, and even part of seventh grade. I never gave up on it.)

In ninth, tenth, and eleventh grade, I was in a Creative Writing class at my high school. St. John, one of my favorite teachers ever (after Mrs. Stroup, but before Coach Teague), taught it the first two years I took it. He really pushed me to be better and to write better. I thought up some of my best short stories while I was in that class. (I wrote a series of one-shots in eleventh grade; ninth and tenth were long, long short stories.)

I took AP Literature when I was in twelfth grade, and it was taught by Mrs. Stroup, my absolute favorite teacher in the whole wide world. It was an amazing class, and I think it finally cemented into my head what I wanted to do when I grew up:

Be a high-school english teacher.

Now, before y'all start clamoring about how teachers will be replaced by computers in the near future and that I need to at least get my doctorate and teach at a college-level, let me tell you something.

My high school teachers probably had the most influence over my life. They really brought me out of my shell. Some, like Mrs. Stroup, pushed me above and beyond what I thought I could do. They were amazing at what they did. 

Now, I still dream about writing and having a book published, but who says I can't do that on the side? Who says I can't work on a prize-winning novel while drilling 1984 into my students' heads? (I just hope I don't have male students hitting on me - Charlie told me that would happen, seeing as I would be young and pretty when I started out.) I think it would be awesome to have a book published while just being a teacher in a small-town high school.

Of course, I have to survive college first. I'm currently majoring in English, while attempting to minor in Creative Writing. (I'm still not sure how that minor's going to work, though. I'm terrified of other people reading my writing, like it's not "grown-up" enough. But I sort of want to write YA Fantasy... And that's not really grown-up, is it? And isn't it ironic that I want nothing more than to be an author, while at the same time, I'm terrified of what people think of my writing?)

One of my goals is to have a book published by the time I finish college. That way, I'll at least have a little income while I look for a teaching job somewhere. I actually have this crazy notion in my head that I'll be able to waltz right into Chelsea High School and work alongside people that taught me. Strange, right?

At the moment, I'm doing rather well in college (at least, I think I am). I can't say the same for my books, though. (I have two in progress, remember?) I'm slowly working out the kinks, but they're going to require a ton of editing and rereading. I only hope that I'll be able to find someone willing to do that. 

I wonder what ebook publishing's like? (My dad says I should attempt something like that, because apparently it makes good money if your book is good enough or something.) I may attempt to put one of my short stories up there some day, and price it at like 99¢. I don't think you can make it less, to be honest. (Anybody out there willing to buy a short story about a ghost pirate who has to outwit the Ghost Hunters team?)

This has just been a rant about nothing in particular. Then again, this is a blog about my life, right? I guess this is heavily related to my life. Maybe this belongs here after all.

What are your goals? Your ambitions? What's the one thing that sets your heart aflame when you think about it? Do you have any advice for someone looking to publish her own book, or maybe a few short stories?