'Murica Can't Math

I don't normally do such stereotypical posts (ha, ha; the US is behind in math skills), but after witnessing two separate incidents at TreeTop today, I think it's safe to say that, yes, while we are America and we are the land of the free and the home of the brave, some adults can't do math to save their lives.

I'm going to transcribe this as best I can, so bear with me!

Incident One: 11:32 a.m.
Scene: Café
Participants: Alex Jones (Owner), Danielle (worker), Me

Alex: Y'all won't believe what I just witnessed.
Danielle & Me: What happened?
Alex: You ever have one of those moments, like on the AT&T commercial, where your mind just goes *fwooom*?
Danielle: Yeah.
Me: Maybe.
Alex: I just had that conversation with someone. And I had to tell someone. I've been telling the entire staff, and y'all are last.
Danielle: What happened?
Alex: DD (another worker) comes into my office with the phone, and he says, Alex, can you help this guy? I can't get him to understand me. I'm thinking, Maybe it's 'cause you're black, but DD doesn't really have that ghetto accent.
Me: Yeah.
Alex: So I take the phone. Who's this? says the guy. And I say, I'm Alex. The guy goes, Who are you, Alex? And I say, I'm the owner. By this time, I'm thinking maybe the guy's a tad slow, and I can help him out and get back to printing paychecks. 
Danielle: You haven't finished paychecks?
Alex: Shh! Anyway. The guy goes, So I'm looking at your website, at the group rates, and I'm confused. And I say, What can I help you with, sir? And he goes, So, I see that your rates are for ten or more people, starting at $9.95 a person. And I say, That's right. And he goes, So, how much would that be for ten people?
Danielle & Me: *jaws drop*
Alex: That's not even the best part. In my head, I'm thinking, "Look, dude, you just move the decimal point, fwip, one space over! It's a tenth! A TENTH! You're an adult, for God's sake!" But I say, Well, sir, it'd be $99.50 for ten people. And he goes, Your prices are really confusing. And in my head, I'm still thinking, "IS THIS REAL LIFE?!" But I say, What do you suggest? And he says, get this, he says Maybe you should have a chart or something. Ten people is this price, twenty people is this price, and so on. And I'm like, "This is SIMPLE MATH, buddy! Your smart phone is smarter than this! It has a freaking calculator!" But I suck it up and I say, Well, thank you, I'll take that into consideration. And then we say our goodbyes and he hangs up.
Danielle: *speechless*
Me: That did not happen.
Alex: Oh, but it did.
FIN

****

Incident Two: Around 3:30 p.m.
Setting: Café
Participants: MacKenzie (manager), Danielle, Alan (worker), & Me. Plus Lady on the Phone.

MacKenzie has been taking calls for people wanting to book birthday parties. She has them on speaker so she can flip through the schedule with one hand and jot down sensitive information with the other. Since it's slow in the café, Danielle & I are sitting down while Alan's in there taking a break. Let it be known that Birthday Parties get a special price on pizzas - $9.50 per pizza instead of $13 per pizza.

MacKenzie: Thank you for calling TreeTop Family Adventure, how may I help you?
Lady: I'd like to book a party, but I have a few questions first.
MacKenzie: Certainly, how can I help you?
Lady *rattles off generic questions*
MacKenzie: Is that all for you today, ma'am?
Lady: Well, I do have one more question. On your website that I'm looking at, it says you have Party Pizzas for $9 a pie. Is that per slice?
Alan, Danielle, & I: *muffling our laughter because MacKenzie's shooting us death glares*
MacKenzie: N-no, ma'am, that's for the entire pizza. It's a pizza pie. $9 a pie.
Lady: Well, that's just confusing! Nobody knows what a pie is!
Alan: *gets up and leaves to go to the back of the kitchen, where we can hear him laughing*
MacKenzie: I'll pass that along, ma'am.
Lady: You better! *hangs up*
Danielle, MacKenzie, & I: *stare at each other for ten seconds, then bust out laughing*
We laugh for a long time, and we eventually end up crying because we're laughing so hard. Alan comes back eventually, and he's crying, too. MacKenzie relates the news to Alex later.
Alex: *comes into café* Do any of you here know what an IQ is?
Everyone Present: *raises hands*
Alex: Just making sure. The lady on the phone just lowered everyone IQ here by several hundred points. I may have to start paying damage or medical leave or something. *leaves muttering*
Everyone Present: *starts laughing again*
FIN

****

Honestly, it's like some people just don't take the time or the effort to think things through before they say them. 

The best phone calls, though, are the ones where people ask, "What are y'all's hours?" Guess why that's so funny? They have to go through a menu where the recorded voice TELLS THEM THE HOURS before they're asked if they'd like to speak to a live person. I just don't understand people.

We're raising a generation of technologically-advanced preschoolers (my cousins can operate their mother's iPad better than she can, and they're five and four years old; they don't get a lot of time with it, though, because she doesn't use it as a babysitter), and yet their parents can barely do third-grade math. 

It really worries me.