Fantastic Onion Rings

It amazes me that I've gotten this far on this blog and I haven't put up a single recipe yet. Well, actually, I'm not at all that surprised. I fail utterly at cooking, but the few things that I can make, I make really, really well.

Just ask my family about my chocolate chip cookies. I'm sure they'll agree whole-heartedly. In fact, my mother's no longer allowed to make the cookies. I'm the only one who can. I HAVE POWERRRR! :D

But seriously. Life can't be all desserts, all the time. So here's something that's a little more...deep-fried:

ONION RINGS.

I can hear y'all moaning now. "But what's so great about onion rings?"

I'll tell you.

My onion rings are absolutely fantastic. Crispy, not too oniony, and with a thick, delicious crumb-crust-shell-thing. What else could you possibly want in an onion ring? (I'm also going to share the recipe for the dipping sauce we use!)

Are y'all drooling yet? Let's get this puppy started, shall we? 

INGREDIENTS:

• Sliced Onion (amount up to you)
• Plain Breadcrumbs (amount varies)
• 2% Milk (amount varies)
• Flour (amount varies)
• Cooking Oil

MATERIALS:

• Knife (to chop onion)
• Three Bowls
• Pan
• Paper Towels
• Fork (to dip onion rings and to fish them out of the oil)

Step One: Get yourself three bowls. It doesn't matter how big they are, just make sure that you have three of them. Also, cut yourself up some onions. I don't care how many you use. I usually just cut up one onion, because only three people in my family eat the onion rings.

Step Two: Fill your bowls like so: the first one with flour, the second one with milk (I use 2%, but you can use whatever you want; I'm sure whole milk will work better), and the third with breadcrumbs (I use plain, but again, use whatever you want). It works better if you keep your bowls in this order, too.

Step Three: Dip your onion in the middle bowl full of milk. Make sure the whole thing gets wet.

Step Four: Take your onion and place it in the flour. Make sure you coat it completely.

Step Five: Put your onion ring back in the milk. Make sure you get every bit of flour covered with milk. Milk makes things stick!

Step Six: Chuck that sucker into your bowl of breadcrumbs. (Your breadcrumbs will gradually ball up as you continue doing this; refresh your breadcrumbs every so often so that you have more loose ones to work with. You'll see what I mean after you do a few of these.)

Step Seven: Back into the milk with that bread-ring! We're giving this baby two coats of crispy breadcrumbs.

Step Eight: And now we return to the breadcrumbs. Coat the onion ring thoroughly, making sure you don't see any flour. (Well, I guess you can see a little. But full coated is probably preferred.)

Step Nine: Place your onion rings either straight into the frying oil or onto some sort of pan. (I put them on the pan so my mother can fry them.)

Step Ten: Fry those babies up! High heat, until they're nice and golden brown. (You can see the knob on my stove, can't you? It's between the nine and the eight, one of the highest heat settings available.)

Step Eleven: Place your fried deliciousness on some paper towels to drain the excess grease. And you're ready to enjoy these things! Even my father says they're amazing, and that's a compliment, coming from him! (My mother's no longer allowed to make onion rings. It's now my duty, I suppose.)

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BUT WAIT! What are onion rings without some type of delicious sauce to go with them? I present to you, Zesty Onion Sauce. You'll see why it's called that in a few minutes.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1/2 Cup Mayonnaise
• 1 1/2 Teaspoons Ketchup
• 1 1/2 Teaspoons Prepared Horseradish
• 1/2 Teaspoon Granulated Sugar
• 1/2 Teaspoon Lemon Juice
• 1/4 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

Step One: Mix all your ingredients together in a bowl. Don't be shy. Measure 'em and dump 'em all in the same bowl and mash 'em together with a spoon. 

Step Two: Dip your onion rings in the sauce! Or, if you're slightly more germaphobic, spoon some sauce onto your plate and dip your onion rings from there. If you're looking for more spice, add more cayenne. If your sauce is a teensy bit too pale, add some ketchup. It'll take a bit of tweaking to get it just how you want it, but that's the beauty of a recipe like this: you can do whatever you want with it.

*~*~*~*

PLEASE tell me how your onion rings turned out!! Tell me how you liked them, tell me how your family liked them, tell me how your significant other liked them... I've worked hard on this, and I'm hoping that people really like them! (Oh, and tell me how you did your sauce!)